A to Z Glossary of Dad Signals

Every term the Gay-I uses, defined in one place, in alphabetical order, mostly.

By the Gay-I Research Desk · October 3, 2026 · 5 min read

An open wooden card catalog drawer full of index cards, an orange spritz in a wine glass, a folded gray sweater, and a potted fiddle-leaf fig on an archive table beside numbered yellow evidence markers — The glossary, in its original physical format.

The Gay-I Verdict

Gay-I Reading: 48%

A dad signal is any ordinary habit, object, or outfit the Gay-I has decided to have an opinion about, from Aperol spritz to Zumba. None of them can tell you whether your dad is gay. Most of them can tell you he went to Italy once.

Over time, the Gay-I has developed a vocabulary. Readers kept writing in to ask what we meant by "the boys" or why we keep bringing up the inseam. This page is the answer.

Each entry below is a short definition. Where our researchers have written a full study, the entry links to it. Where they have not, the entry is all we know.

How to Use This Glossary

Find the term. Read the definition. If there is a link, follow it for the full research. If your dad is doing something not listed here, the Gay-I has probably not noticed it yet, or noticed it and decided to let it go.

Dad Signals A to H

Aperol spritz: An orange drink a dad discovers on vacation and orders for the next eleven months. See Dad's Cocktail Order, Decoded.
Brunch: A meal between breakfast and lunch that some dads now attend voluntarily. See Brunch as a Leading Indicator.
Cashmere: A soft fabric. He will ask you to touch it. See Questionable Fabrics.
Celebrity crush: The famous person a dad names when asked, after a long pause. See the Celebrity Crush Audit.
Cologne: What replaces body spray at a certain point in a man's life. See Cologne vs. Body Spray.
Dad shoe: A white sneaker built for walking around a hardware store. See The Dad Shoe Index.
Errand: A reason to leave the house. The third errand of a Saturday remains under review.
Fabulous: A word some dads have started using about sandwiches. See Is My Dad Gay If He Says "Fabulous"?
Fiddle-leaf fig: A large houseplant that dies if you move it. Dads who keep one alive have a level of patience the Gay-I finds notable. See The Fiddle-Leaf Fig Threshold.
Fishing trip: A weekend away with "the boys." Usually just fishing, and getting away from the family. See Fishing Trip With the Boys.
Golf trip: Like a fishing trip, but with collared shirts. See the Golf Trip Risk Assessment.
Grill: The center of a dad's outdoor life. How he stands at it is studied in the Grill Behavior Analysis.
Hug: An embrace between a dad and his friend. Duration and back-pat count are tracked in Is My Dad Gay If He Hugs His Friends?

Dad Signals I to R

Inseam: The length of the inside leg of a dad's shorts. It has been getting shorter. See the Shorts Inseam Investigation.
Juicer: Purchased in January. Used in January. No signal.
Khaki: The default color of fatherhood. The Gay-I uses it as a control.
Lawn: A dad's main form of emotional expression. See The Lawn as a Love Language.
Leg day: A day at the gym devoted to legs. Most dads skip it. Some do not. See the Leg Day Frequency Study.
Linen: A breathable fabric, as he will tell you. See Questionable Fabrics.
Mamma Mia: A musical film dads claim to have watched "because it was on." See Is My Dad Gay If He Likes Mamma Mia?
Moisturizer: A lotion. Some dads have started using it on purpose. See Is It Gay to Moisturize?
Mom: Outside our jurisdiction. See our policy on moms.
Musical theatre: A broad category ranging from "knows one song from Grease" to "has a favorite revival." See the Dad Musical Theatre Spectrum.
Nap: Every dad naps. This is the one behavior with a Gay-I signal of exactly zero.
Over-the-shoulder sweater: A sweater worn as a cape, tied at the chest. See The Sweater Over the Shoulders.
Pillow, throw: A decorative pillow that no one is allowed to use. See Throw Pillow Intent.
Quarter-zip: A sweater that is also half a jacket. Common at regional sales meetings. Low signal.
Reading glasses on a beaded chain: Practical. Also, beads. Under review.

Dad Signals S to Z

Small dog: A dog that fits in one arm, often purchased "for your mother." See Small Dogs, Big Questions.
Spotify Wrapped: An annual report of a dad's listening habits that he did not know would be made public. See Dad's Spotify Wrapped, Interpreted.
Sunglasses: Worn on the head, on a cord, or on the back of the neck. See the Dad Sunglasses Taxonomy.
The boys: A group of men a dad goes fishing with. Membership is not public.
Uncle: Partially covered. See our extended family coverage policy.
Velour: A fabric. A full velour tracksuit is a lifestyle. See Questionable Fabrics.
Wicked: A musical one dad in our files watched by himself on a Friday night and again on Saturday. Filed under musical theatre.
X: Our researchers could not find a dad signal starting with X. They looked for an afternoon.
Yoga: Stretching, but on a mat, in a room with other people. See Is My Dad Gay If He Does Yoga?
Zumba: A dance fitness class. One dad in our sample attended for six weeks and then stopped. Signal unclear.

What This Glossary Can't Tell You

Every term on this page describes something a dad does, wears, or keeps on a windowsill. None of it describes who he is. There are no real signs that someone is gay, and the whole point of this glossary is that the idea of "signs" is silly.

For how these terms get turned into a score, see how the Gay-I works. For the yearly totals, see the Annual Dad Report. Or skip the reading and upload a photo of him.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a dad signal?

A dad signal is any ordinary dad habit, item, or outfit that the Gay-I has an opinion about, such as linen shirts, brunch, or a small dog. Signals are scored from 0 to 5 and mean nothing.

What are the signs your dad is gay?

There are no reliable outward signs. Clothes, drinks, and hobbies are not a sexuality. The signals in this glossary are a joke about stereotypes, and the stereotypes are the punchline.

Is it gay if my dad drinks Aperol spritz?

No. It usually means he went to Italy, or knows someone who did, and liked the color.

What is the strongest dad signal?

According to the Gay-I, mesh. Our researchers have not found an innocent reason for a dad to own mesh, though they have not looked very hard.

What dad signal has a score of zero?

Napping. Every dad naps. The Gay-I has never once been able to learn anything from it.

The joke is on stereotypes, not on anyone's dad. Nothing on this page can tell you anything about a real person's sexuality. If your dad has actually come out, start here instead.