Is It Gay for a Man to Wear Short Shorts? An Inseam Investigation
Dad's shorts used to end below the knee. They have been moving north. We brought a tape measure.
By the Gay-I Research Desk · · 4 min read
The Gay-I Verdict
Gay-I Reading: 57%No, it is not gay for a man to wear short shorts. Shorter inseams are a mainstream men's style, and the length of a pair of shorts says nothing about who a man loves. The Gay-I does, however, track how fast Dad's hemline is rising, and a drop from 9 inches to 5 inches in one summer is the fastest we have measured.
Shorts are measured by their inseam, which is the distance from the crotch seam to the hem. Most dads do not know this. Most dads buy shorts by holding them up in front of themselves at Kohl's and nodding.
But some dads have learned the word "inseam." They use it in sentences. They know their number. The Gay-I Research Desk spent a summer measuring dads' shorts with a fabric tape we borrowed from someone's mom, and we are ready to share what we found.
Cargo Shorts: The Control Group
Every study needs a baseline, and ours is the cargo short. It ends somewhere between the knee and the mid-shin. It has at least six pockets. One of the pockets contains a Werther's Original from 2017. Another contains a tape measure, which is a little ironic given the subject of this study.
The cargo short is not a fashion choice. It is a storage solution. A dad in cargo shorts is not trying to be looked at. He is trying to carry his keys, phone, wallet, sunscreen, and a folded receipt without a bag. The Gay-I scores cargo shorts a flat zero.
From 9 Inches to 7 Inches to 5 Inches
The migration usually happens in stages. Our researchers observed the following pattern in most households.
- 9-inch inseam: Standard flat-front khaki shorts. He wore these to your graduation party. Nobody noticed them, which is the point of them.
- 7-inch inseam: The first move. The shorts now end above the knee. He says they are "cooler." He means temperature. Probably.
- 5-inch inseam: The shorts are now in a pastel color. Salmon, mint, or a yellow he calls "butter." He has started sitting differently on the patio.
- Below 5 inches: The Gay-I did not record a reading. It just made a small noise.
The First Time Dad Says "Thigh"
For most of his life, Dad did not have thighs. He had legs. Legs went from his hips to his shoes and that was all anyone needed to know about them.
Then, one afternoon, usually in June, he will hold up a new pair of shorts and say something like "these hit at a good spot on the thigh." This is the moment our researchers refer to as the Thigh Event. It is the single biggest jump on the Gay-I scale for this category. A dad who has located his thigh is a dad who has looked in a full-length mirror on purpose.
The Thigh Event is often followed by an increased interest in going to the gym, particularly on certain days. See our leg day frequency study for more on that.
Is It Gay for a Man to Wear Short Shorts?
No. This is the part of the guide where we are serious for two sentences. Shorter shorts are a normal, popular style for men of every orientation, and a hemline cannot tell you anything about who a person is attracted to.
What a 5-inch inseam can tell you is that Dad is comfortable, it is hot outside, and he has decided his knees are an asset. That is the whole finding. We spent a summer on it.
What To Do If Dad's Shorts Keep Getting Shorter
Mostly, let it happen. Shorts trends move in cycles, and in a few years he will probably be back in cargo shorts, telling you how much he missed the pockets.
If you still have questions, you can upload a photo of him in the shorts and the Gay-I will measure what it can. Results are accurate 50% of the time, every time. For a full picture, check what he is wearing on his feet with the Dad Shoe Index, and whether a sweater has started appearing on his shoulders in our report on the sweater tied over the shoulders.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it gay for a man to wear short shorts?
No. Short shorts are a common men's style and have nothing to do with sexual orientation. The Gay-I only measures inseam length, and even it admits that is not the same thing.
What inseam shorts do dads wear?
Traditionally 9 to 11 inches, or whatever length the cargo shorts at the store happen to be. Our research shows a growing number of dads have moved to 7 inches, and a smaller group to 5.
Why is my dad wearing shorter shorts all of a sudden?
Most likely because shorter shorts are in style, they are cooler in summer, and somebody told him he has good legs. That last one is usually the reason.
What does it mean when my dad says "thigh"?
It means he is describing where his shorts end. The Gay-I calls this the Thigh Event and rates it highly, but in real life it just means he has thought about how his shorts fit.
Can the length of someone's shorts tell you if they are gay?
No. Clothing tells you about weather and personal taste. Nobody's sexuality can be read off their hemline, including Dad's.
The joke is on stereotypes, not on anyone's dad. Nothing on this page can tell you anything about a real person's sexuality. If your dad has actually come out, start here instead.
Related Research
Is My Dad Gay Based on His Shoes? The Dad Shoe Index
Every dad starts in the same white walking sneaker. Some of them stay there. We measured the ones who left.
Is My Dad Gay If He Never Skips Leg Day? A Frequency Study
For years, Dad went to the gym and did the same two exercises. Then he met Marco.
Questionable Fabrics: A Field Guide to What Dad Is Wearing
Most dads wear cotton. Some dads have started wearing other things. We looked into it.