Dad's Celebrity Crush Audit: What His Picks Say About Him
He has had the same celebrity crush since 1987. Recently, he has started commenting on actors.
By the Gay-I Research Desk · · 3 min read
The Gay-I Verdict
Gay-I Reading: 49%A celebrity crush cannot tell you if your dad is gay. Most dads pick one person in about 1985 and stay loyal for life. The Gay-I only starts taking notes when he has a ranked list of Chrises.
Every dad has a celebrity crush. He will not call it that. He will say he "always liked" someone, and then mention her name every time she is on TV for the next forty years. Mom is aware. Mom has her own list.
This report audits the classic dad picks, then moves on to a newer category the Gay-I has been seeing more of: dads who have opinions about men in movies. A note before we start: this report is about what Dad says. We do not speculate about any celebrity, and neither should he.
Classic Dad Celebrity Crushes
The traditional dad crush was chosen early and has not been revisited. Our researchers surveyed the most common picks and found they fall into a few reliable groups.
- The local weather lady: The most common dad crush in America. He says he watches for the forecast. He has never once changed plans because of the forecast.
- An actress from a 1980s movie he saw in college: He still brings it up. He thinks you have seen it. You have not seen it.
- A country singer: He knows every song from one album. The album is from 1996.
- A cooking show host: He says he likes "how she explains things."
- A woman from a car commercial: He does not know her name. He does know the car.
The Celebrity Commentary Signal Index
The Gay-I is less interested in who Dad likes and more interested in what he says out loud while the TV is on. Here is how it scores the most common comments.
| Signal | Gay-I Strength | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| "She's a pretty lady" about the weather lady | Said every night at 6:15. The control group. | |
| Admires a 1980s action movie star's physique | This is about the workout plan. He is thinking about the bench press. | |
| "He's a good looking guy" | Said once, this is an observation. See below for repeat offenses. | |
| Knows which actor plays which superhero | He has been watching the movies with you. That is nice. | |
| Has a ranked list of Chrises | See below. He has thought about this more than he lets on. | |
| Pauses the movie to discuss a jawline | The Gay-I asked him to press play. |
The Best Chris Debate
There are, at any given time, several famous actors named Chris. For most of the population this is a fun fact. For a certain kind of dad it is a ranking that needs to be settled.
A dad who says "they all look the same to me" is a control-group dad. A dad who says "the one from the space movie, obviously" has a favorite. A dad who explains his ranking using the words "range" and "charisma" has a spreadsheet somewhere. Our data shows that 58% of dads with a firm Chris ranking will defend it at Thanksgiving. We made that number up, but it feels right.
To be clear, this is about Dad's ranking, not about anybody named Chris. They are all fine.
When Dad Says "He's a Good Looking Guy"
Every dad says this eventually. He says it about a quarterback, a news anchor, or the guy in the movie who is about to save the day. Usually it is followed by "I'll give him that," which takes the edge off.
The Gay-I tracks frequency. Once a month is a normal amount of noticing. Once per commercial break is a man who has decided to be honest about what he sees. That is a healthy quality, and we would like more dads to have it. It is also, according to the Gay-I, "a lot."
What To Do With This Information
Nothing. Noticing that someone is attractive is not a sexuality, and neither is having a celebrity crush. Straight dads think actors are handsome, gay dads like the weather lady, and the remote has seen it all. If you want more on what Dad watches and listens to, see the Dad Musical Theatre Spectrum and Spotify Wrapped, Interpreted.
Or you can upload a photo of him and let the Gay-I decide. You can read more about how the Gay-I works, though we would not get your hopes up.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is my dad gay if he says an actor is good looking?
No. Anyone can notice that someone is good looking. Saying so out loud just means your dad is honest, and possibly bored during the movie.
Who is the most common dad celebrity crush?
According to our research, which was not real research, it is the local weather lady. She is on every night and he is always home.
Is it weird that my dad has a ranking of famous actors named Chris?
It is a little specific, but it is not weird. Lots of people have opinions about movies. He just organized his.
Does Mom know about Dad's celebrity crush?
Yes. She has known since the first date. She also has her own, and it is better than his.
Can a celebrity crush tell you if someone is gay?
No. A celebrity crush tells you who someone likes watching on TV, and that is the whole joke. You cannot learn anyone's sexuality from the remote.
The joke is on stereotypes, not on anyone's dad. Nothing on this page can tell you anything about a real person's sexuality. If your dad has actually come out, start here instead.
Related Research
Is My Dad Gay If He Likes Musicals? The Dad Musical Theatre Spectrum
Most dads attend one musical per decade under protest. Some dads attend for themselves. We mapped the difference.
What Does My Dad's Spotify Wrapped Say About Him?
Once a year, Dad's listening history becomes public record. Our researchers read it so you don't have to.
Is My Dad Gay If He Likes Mamma Mia?
He says he only watched it because it was on. It has been on four times.